Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Fizzness Brain Dump :- Celebrity Energy Drinks

Right so we have celebrity perfumes, celebrity endorsement of alcohol and it can't be too far away from us having Celebrity Energy Drinks right?

I mean we already have 50 Cent getting involved firstly in Vitamin Water and now Street King and then we have people like Nelly who a few years ago launched something called Pimp Juice, err ok.

Pimp Juice :- The aroma of the sex industry

So we're going to muse about what we think might be future possible drinks, the current pretenders as well as coming up with 1 we desperately need to see

So at the minute Ed Hardy has a drink out

Someone else has gone to the bother of writing about it so I won't add much ( sound's ........interesting. I'm not quite sure I understand the connection between tatoos and Energy drinks but there you go. It shows that there's potential there for lazy endorsements and products which I believe is like oxygen to a lot of these celebrity types.

Surely someone has to be looking at a Jersey Shore Energy Drink. That filth would sell itself. There seems to have been endorsements for 6 hour power and vitmain water. That's how a lot of the fragrance stuff started out though didn't it? Endorsements then leading to someone going 'hey I like money, maybe I could get more money by doing my own thing!'. For flavour I guess they could for Sicilian Lemon, if they can make something that tastes decent as a mixer they will be raking it in. Or even better than that they could launch a different flavour for every character. That's so awful it's brilliant.

The 'Straight Edge Messiah' CM Punk is a big fan of Pepsi but could you imagine him sporting a WWE Energy Drink. BOOM. I'm getting in line. He could even finally get his ice-cream bars back in a way by making it cream soda energy drink.

So as well as Fiddy and Nelly another Hip Hop Superstar was rumoured to be coming with an energy drink. Kanye. God this would have been incredible. It seemed like there was a lot of buzz about a collab with Guru Energy Drinks ( although I can't ever seem to see something coming out? That's a real shame because who knows what Ye would've come up with but it would've given you all the energy needed to jack fools at award ceremonys and at the end of the day isn't that why we all drink Energy Drinks?

If we're getting into it then there is still something in the realm of hip hop energy drink cross overs that would have me super interested. This is the one Celebrity Energy Drink that is getting me buzzed without even tasting it....

I want a Beastie Boy endorsed energy drink. The thought gets me peaked, seriously. These guys have quirky taste so we'll get a sensational flavourbut we also could, this is what pushes it into the next level for me,  we coluld bloody get a robot shaped can like the Intergalactic video.

JESUS. Are you serious Bro?
I have friends in high places, not one to name drop like but I'm good mates with youtube star Fizzy G, but this might be beyond even our stroke.
SOMEONE Make this happen

Right I'm away to bother famous people on Twitter to get them to start making energy drinks

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Tyrrells Sour Cream and Jalepeno Popcorn

Social Responsibility, Whoopie Pies and Designer Popcorn. Three things you know you should probably like but there's something a bit off putting about them right?

That's been my issue. I've liked the thought of designer popcorn, you know the sort one piece of popcorn covered in chocolate with caramelized ginger stuck to it etc etc, but something just never felt right about it.. that was until last week.

I've had Tyrrells brand of crisps before and I know the remit pretty well, they want to bring full flavoured snacks back to the mainstream market right? People are tired of yellow under cooked crisps lacking in punch and flavour so they did something about it. Excellent and now they've turned their attentions to Popcorn.

I'm not sure there's many popcorn at home brands I have a loyalty to nor is it something that I would consider getting if not watching a film, the two are that intertwinned to me, but this flavour of Tyrrells Proper Popcorn seemed more like a Crisp Alternative to me and so it found it's way into my snack rotation.

One thing to clear up and this is pretty important, this is not a massively high calorie snack. Popcorn is constantly labelled as that calorific nightmare and I'm sure sweet popcorn is. It's covered in sugar so I guess the two follow hand in hand. This is a bit different though with the entire bag (76g) coming in at about 375 calories according to with a sharing bag of something like Walkers being around 500 calories. This makes sense if you think about something like Snack-A-Jacks and that they are basically popcorn cakes.

Ok so onto the flavour of this. Initially I won't lie I was a little worried it was going to be like a bag of broken up sour cream snack-a-jacks which would be a bit dull but that's were the Jalapeno Chilli flavour comes into it's own. The added background heat from that is what brings this snack crashing forward as a real alternative to crisps.

I would enjoy these as an alternative to snack-a-jacks as well if they had some multi-pack type deal. Very tasy and a lovely product. Recommended for your next fight night get together.

Fizzness Seal of Approval is well earned here

That's almost it but I can't let you go without suggesting you pop over to their website. it's a great site with a way to register yourself as a taste tester. I look at Tyrrells and can't help but draw some comparrisons with Jones Soda... Just me?

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Video Review Natural Confectionary Company

Fizzy G is back with Fizzness Video Episode 3

That bastard Spooky Dan has been at it again and stolen all the bloody soft drinks in Northern Ireland so he's had to review sweets.


Thursday, 24 November 2011


Hello one and all,

It's creeping closer to that time of year. Presents, Turkey and good tidings yes it's almost DIEHARD-HOMEALONEFEST/christmas!! Jones Soda have got into the swing of things alright with 4 special flavours.

For anyone lucky enough to live in a location that they ship to make sure you hit them up and get some of these goodies

The flavours are

Pear Tree
Candy Cane
Sugar Plum
Ginger Bread

God I'm so jealous of you North American bods on this one.

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Biscbits Honeycomb

So for some reason you don't normally get hoop biscuits. I'm not sure why that is but I'm struggling to think of many. Geometrically for a biscuit I think people feel ripped off by the big gap in the middle. So it was a brave man who made these rude boys.

This is one of those massive sharing pack concepts that are popular at the minute and this time it's a hoop with some honeycomb pieces in it. Since the Honeycomb yorkie became an endangered species something has been missing from my life a little (I've since fallen in love with the Milka Daim Bar) and I had hoped these might be the one.

Honeycomb Yorkie the gold standard of HoneyComb Chocolate

Taste wise they are great, the chocolate might be a little thin as it does seem to melt very quickly in your hand. That's a bit annoying but hey maybe it was an unseasonably hot november evening (it wasn't) but you can live with that as the biscuit itself is nice.

The downside to me is the packet size, what's the point here? I don't think they are fancy enough to have with your local mobsters at a sit down and that's normally my acid test of how fancy something is. Are they aimed at kids partys? Just at familys? I think the packet is too big for fewer than 3/4 people, perhaps its my glutton speaking here but do people really reseal these things and have them in more than 1 sitting? I don't see it.

What I want to see if lunchbox size packets. Something akin to Nestle Flipz. The flavour stands up for itself it could stand up to being sold in smaller packs, even in multipacks of smaller packs. ANIMALS STYLE

This is really close to being something great. It's tasty but I just don't see myself buying packets this size regularly

Asda Gourmet Jelly Beans

Ok this is a secret that the government probably don't want you to know. Asda have an own brand of gourmet jelly beans and they are pretty bloody good. The cola flavour is fantastic, the pear flavour is fantastic and all round they taste pretty sensational. The next best bit is they are cheap, like very cheap. About a pound. Jesus man keep it cool. The only downside is I don't think they are made in a magical kingdom by elves like most jelly beans, they're probably made by robots in a factory and because of that they don't have a flavour guide on the packet.

That's probably the one downside of these, the lack of a flavour guide and maybe the lack of a Dr.Pepper or Bubblegum flavoured jelly bean but as we all know that would mean a Dr.Thunder flavoured jelly bean and that's just confusing.

Highly recommended!


Ain't Nuttin but A G(fruit) Ting Baby :-Ting Grapefruit Soda

Grapefruits. The evilest of all the fruits, not grape not fruit but somehow named after both. It's face melting bitterness if the bane of my life and how people can drink unsweetened grapefruit juice I'll never know.

So what I'm learning is in the Caribbean they like sugar. A lot. So much so infact that they said GRAPEFRUIT MON YOUR TYRANNY IS AT AN END MON and they tried to murder it with sugar and sell it in a can.

This is sweet and you pay for it, it racks in at 50cals per 100ml. Which is high. What you get for that is something that still tastes a little like grapefruit but rehabilitated grapefruit, ones who have a place in our society now.

Yeah it tastes a bit like Lilt and yeah it tastes a bit like Levi Roots Crush and it's somewhere in the middle there. That kind of sums it up. It's not a hot ticket but it certainly doesn't taste bad. If you are a fiend for either of those drinks give it a go. If you hate grapefruit then drink this as it might encourage more people to cover them in sugar. Or better yet encourage the GM farmers to finally sort that shit out

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Cadburys Magic Elves

Cadburys Magic Elves

Everybody should know two things in life: 1. That Badger loves mashed potato and 2. Christmas officially begins at one minute past midnight on Halloween night, therefore its officially Christmas right now.

So to celebrate the start of the festive season I’m going to take some time over the next few weeks to review some of the Christmas swag hitting the shelves and everybody knows that Christmas and swag go together very well.

Here are some other pairings that go well together
Chicken and Broccoli
Frank Crank and kicking people's heads off
Mountain Dew and video games

So far so good, now by way of contrast here is a list of things that don't go together well
Michael Jackson and kids
Frank Crank and the Chinese synthetic
Popping candy and chocolate

Yes popping candy and chocolate, which is unfortunately what we have here. Cadbury’s Magic Elves are small milk chocolate bars (similar to a Taz or Freddo) with popping candy inside, dirty stinking popping candy.

Popping candy to me is nothing but a gimmick from the 70s that has been trying to crawl its way back into the mainstream ever since its glory days ended. Sure its fun once or twice on its own but its not a flavour you'll go rushing back to (unless you’re Peter Kay he loves old stuff him). Everyone laments it and wants it to return from the past but there's a reason it never made it out of the 70s, it's not nice. Plus it's a health and safety nightmare, mix a mouth full of that with a swig of coke and your head explodes, it's true it happened to my mate’s cousin.

So to actually use this in a chocolate bar just baffles me. Chocolate is meant to be a smooth experience not fizzy, so what you end up with in this bar are two polar opposite flavours and experiences bouncing of each other refusing to mix.

What's worse is this isn't even an original idea other companies have put popping candy in chocolate bars before. Don't remember them? Exactly! They were rubbish and have all disappeared without a trace.

Now these bars have been popping up (pun not intended, actually it was intended) the last few Christmases so you'd think they must be selling well but to be honest slap an elf on anything this time of year and it's going to sell especially when you factor in their bargain pricing and character driven 'collect em all' packaging.

So get them if you like perfectly decent Cadburys milk chocolate being ruined by tiny chemical explosions in your mouth, but I'm going to stick to Taz bars (caramel Freddo my arse).

Tymbark Apple and Mint

Right so the lack of mint based soft drinks has always kind of peturbed me. I don't get it, I know there's something there that could work right but it's not going to be easy. That's why I was delighted to see the following concoction this week.

An Apple and Mint drink from Tymbark
It's got track record from a long standing polish company and on the back there was indication of a distributor in America. I'm not going to lie but I was quietly confident I was onto something special here

The bottle cap is also a bit incredible. It's a mix of a ring pull and a bottle cap. It made me feel like a god of sorts of possibly even a bit like Ray Romano from Everybody Loves Raymond.

With the lid off I took a big gulp. OHH GOD WHAT HAVE THEY DONE!! The stillness of the drink and possibly the strength of the apple juice just washes out the mint completely and you're left with a really odd in between nothing type flavour.

It's worse than that. It tastes like you've just used mouthwash then drunk some apple juice. Seriously. This is upsetting and has put back Mint flavoured soft drink relations back years :(

Back to the drawing board

(Sort of)Gone but Not Forgotten : Wispa Gold

Hello I have received communication from Fizzy G and in it he talks about one of his most loved but sadly departed snacks. The odd thing being it's back in the shops at the minute. It's the Nick Cotton of the snack world. Dissapears for years on end only to come back for increasingly brief periods of time. This is an ode to Wispa Gold and how his love for it is eternal...

Interesting take on Sex Ed there from Wispa Gold with messages of encouragement to first timers

 Looooooove Goooooooold
Like Mr. T before me, I love Gold.
Like 'Funnyman' Peter 'hey mum do you remember old things' Kay I love old things, and what do you get when you combine old things with gold things? THE GOLDEN GIRLS! but also WISPA GOLD

A few weeks ago P-Walk asked me to nominate a long gone favourite confectionary item of mine that I wanted to see return from the past for the #Bringback feature on the site. Wispa Gold was my number one choice, sorry Secret bar but I looooooove goooooold. Now suddenly they’re back! So either PWalk has magic ninja powers or that demon I met at six road ends really did give me 3 wishes).

Gold was always one of my favourite chocolate bars, and what's not to like? Wispas are already pretty awesome but these have added GOOOOOOLD, and who doesnt loooooove gooooold?(I loooove gooooold) They were last available in 2003 it has been a long 8 years without them (bar a temporary comeback in 2009 which somehow I missed completely) and during this time nothing has really stepped in to full the golden void.

By way of illustrating how much I love Wispa Gold here is a true story; I was once mugged by a gang of well… muggers and the only thing I had on me was a Wispa Gold I had just spent my only change on. Not fancying a shanking for a chocolate bar, even one as tasty as a Wispa Gold, I reluctantly gave it up. This was a loss that haunted me deeply, I agonized over my missing bar and couldn’t sleep properly for weeks. Then one day I was afforded an opportunity to exact revenge when I saw one of my muggers on a golf course and hit him round the head with a golf flag (neither of us had clubs) (thank god) (can't remember why either of us were on a golf course) (the point is I loooooove goooooooooooooooooold).

So as you can see Wispa Gold bring out a strong reaction in me and you don't want to steal my gold. I looooove gooooold so much I even liked them when they were advertised by real life super villains Ant and Dec.

Anyway I digress they're back for the Olympics, hopefully permanent, taste great, perfect balance of bubbly chocolate and caramel yadda yadda just buy one because you'll LOOOOOOOVE GOOOOOOOLD.

I hate gold bars though.

We're going to have to talk about his attitude towards Gold Bars though as that shits not on.

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Frugo DragonFruit/Pitahaya

Todays review is of a polish non-carbonated fruit juice based drink. Tescos seem to be throwing their considerable weight behind it at the minute with it having pride of place at the end of an aisle and an eye catching price point (JUST 33P for a 250ml bottle)

My eye was instantly caught by the DragonFruit flavour (called Pitahya in Poland seemingly) and I snagged a bottle to consume at my lesuire.

The drink itself is a blend of  grape,lemon,blackcurrant, cherry and Dragonfruit WITH ADDED SUGAR so it's going to be packing a hell of a punch. What I wasnt expecting was for there to be a genuine dragon fruit taste to it, normally the dragon fruits you get here are a bit dull probably due to the long flights etc etc but you can get, although it is subtle, a real taste here.

That mixed with the grape and lemon is fantastic but fantastically sweet. The Cherry and Blackcurrant do come through but they are the backing singers to the other flavours for me. I'm glad it's only a 250ml bottle as it's super sweet (although still sitting around that 40kcalper100mill barrier) but it's a really nice alternative to snapple and at this price a hell of a lot cheaper.

Try it while it's cheap


Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Gone but not forgotten : Pizza Pringles

Dearly Beloved,

We are congregated here to talk about a wonderous memeber of our extended family who is no longer with us. Depite the bold promises from all the leading experts its turns out that once you pop you do eventually stop :(

Don't cry, the moustache twirling pizza pringle man wouldn't want you to remember him with sadness but with fondness for the strongest flavour of crisps ever. So strong it was good that no girls wanted to talk to me. The tube was Italian flag themed with a semi-racist version of the Pizza Pringle man looking like a pizza chef.

Right let's keep this real I did a review of Pizzas flavoured pomm bears and it's done alright in terms of hits, no suprise there bitches be crazy for pomm bears right? Wrong. It went crazy because of Pizza Pringles.

I'm going to give you a guess as to which area seems to have the most interest in Pizza Pringles?


Yep the birthplace of Pizza wants Pizza Pringles, they love Pizza Pringles. We live in the future guys we should have our Pizza in crisp flavour.

Pizza Pringles are like Colour TV, Sliced Bread or Crotchless pants. It makes sense. it feels good and it shouldn't be against the law to be rocking them in a public park.

Yeah the flavour was bold and over powering but fuck it I would rather that than the new limited edition 'Fois Gras and Blueberry Compote' or 'Salmon Sashimi' or whatver the current 'Gourment' flavour is. I want Pringles to have real flavours again. I want them to go at the flavours people truely love and enjoy.

I know that Pringles had a Chip and Ketchup flavour out recently promoting classic takeaway flavours, this is our window back in. I hear there's a classic Margherita flavour but nah let's go hard on this give us a limited edition run of the old Pizza Pringles again and I will give you my money.

Do you miss Pizza Pringles or another snack? Leave us a comment below and let us know

Mtn Dew Supernova Video Review

Fizzy G is so in love with MTN Dew Supernova he made a video

you should watch that video

Yeah it's really that good

Maine Attaboy Soft Drink

 We're reviewing another of Northern Irelands own soft drinks again from local Bottler Maine and why not in a week were Justin Beiber had 90% of belfast girls under the age of 16fizzing it seemed only appropriate (ie unlike that comment)

The name of this flavour is Attaboy...errr...yeah

No no they haven't gone full renegade on us and created a soft drink flavoured like an American dog food product

Or so I think.....

Yeah it says Colin on it.

Listen I don't know why but there is a mythical soft drink in Ireland. It's called Football Special and it roams the hills in Donegal eating Hikers. For some reason despite everyone claiming this to be the finest soft drink in the world it doesn't get sold outside of a 20 mile radius. It's like one of those big cats people always claim to spot in England to the point now that I'm not sure if it really exists. The Fizzness crew are in early stages of planning a road trip to pick it up but I have this incredibly odd feelin that Maine have tried to recreate it here. The wikipedia page indicates two flavours Bannana (which is probably reason enough to make a trip) and a secret blend of 7 flavours.

Now yes how can you now that this drink is like a drink you've never had? I don't. All I know is Mrs. Fizzness (she won't like being called that) was startled. Is that football special? It looks like Football Special. This paired with the fact this product is so secret it's not even listed on their website ( was getting me excited (It's probably because it's sold as a 'Colin' product)

Excited I bust open the bottle. The smell is crazy. It's like Cherry Irn Bru. I'm not kidding this smells delicious.

I pour it out and even by looking at it it seems more like something from an apothecary than a corner store. It's science going on in that glass. The flavour god well ok it's a mongrel of a flavour and we all know that mongrels are invariably the best of all worlds.

This is like a heady mix of cream soda, irn bru, cherry and and cola (red kola like the Skottish Kola we reviewed before) and together it works incredibly well.

This is highly recommended. If you can get your hands on some you owe it to yourself to try this out.


Firefly Elderflower and Pomegranate

For those that have followed the posts so far you can probably tell I'm a man of simple and unrefined tastes. Therefore the thought of delicately flavoured Elderflower and Pomegranate didn't fill me with the greatest of excitement. I don't like Pomegranate and I think Elderflower can be really overpowering but as it was Firefly I thought this can work.

Firefly are makers of 'adult' soft drinks no not that sort of adult soft drinks but ones designed for people with more refined tastes. Hence they have blends including green tee, ginger and the evilest of all fruits Grapefruit.

With my trusty robot buddy looking on I decided to tackle this one head on. The bottle and label design are really nice and it has that kind of Deli vibe to it. I mean that in a really nice way as well it's relaxed it's comforting and it hints of being something really special inside.

The flavour for me though was overpowered by elderflower to the point that I couldnt finish it. That's going to be a real positive to some people but I just couldn't get past it.

Won't be having this again but certainly will be trying out more Firefly flavours in the future.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Guarana Antarctica

Things to come from Brazil

Pubic Hair Stylings
Samba Dancing
Talented footballers
Massive Statues of Jesus

And now we're getting a hold of their most popular soft drink!

It's a Guarana, one of the main components of Red Bull and a lot of energy drinks, flavoured beverage dating back to the 1920's when the only Red Bull we had was Communist Propoganda (POLITICAL SATIRE AND BEVERAGE REVIEWS! FIZZNESS YOU ARE REALLY SPOILING US)

So here is a link to the UK website and I can't quite work out if it's a joke or not

Erm ok very popular in Brazil and that's cool and all but as the world famous song goes "We're not Brazil, we're Northern Ireland" so will your saucy samba antics really play as well on the Shore Road

Down to flavour. You would assume it's like Red Bull due to Guarana being the main ingredient and that's fair but because of the lack of energy its a smooth drink. Really fruity actually and I guess the closest thing you could come to describe it is red bull mixed with a drop of apple juice.

It's refreshing it's sweet and not only that by virtue of having Guarana juice it should be packing a little energy spike as well.

This is really interesting and it's on offer this week in Tescos so grab yourself a 6-pack you deserved it.

Power is Black


When Tommy Smith and John Carlos did this at the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City I think we all knew (even those of us like us were a good 20 years off being born) that one day someone would use this imagery and politically charged statement in the way it probably should've been done in the first place, that's right everybody someone would make an energy drink!

no but actuallly......

Erm yeah. It's like Red Bull but in a black bottle with a bitching kind of tiger think on it, you would've thought they might have done a panther (maybe it's meant to be a Panther) but no.

I was also a bit upset they didn't colour the drink to be black, it's red bull colour and tastes like red bull.

Son I am dissapoint.

Wispa Gold Announcement

It's back!!!

Sunkist Strawberry

Sunkist Strawberry
What has two thumbs and has spent his entire life searching for a good strawberry flavoured soda?...the strawberry soda searching robot I just made called big Dave. Unfortunately in his relatively short life big Dave hasn’t been able to find any good strawberry sodas partly because there aren't any good strawberry sodas and also because apparently you need more than two cardboard boxes tinfoil and the innards of an old Casio keyboard to make a functioning soda searching robot.

Luckily for me (or this article would’ve been relatively short and mostly about broken robots) I found some strawberry soda myself. And ladies and gentlemen the search is over.

If you remember a few months ago, in my debut article for this site in fact, I wrote at length about the lack a truly good strawberry soda. To me it seemed weird that every attempt has always had it mixed with other fruits or when the strawb did go solo it was always an over-sweet, unbalanced flavour disaster. Well here comes Sunkist to save the day.

Imported from the USA of (where interestingly the strawberry is known locally as the HairBud) comes Sunkist Strawberry, part of the same range as the cherry soda I reviewed last time, and it is sublime.

This succeeds were others have failed because instead of trying to capture the natural flavour of a strawberry which (a.) no one wants in a soda and (b.) doesn't mix well with soda, they've decided, much like they did with their cherry soda, to use the candy version of a strawberry, and it was a stroke of genius.

This drink is great, the candy flavour is unmistakably strawberry but one that bears no relation to strawberry in real life, which is no bad thing. It's sweet, very sweet in fact but that fits in with the candy theme and everything mixes together so well. It goes down a treat and is head and shoulders above any other HairBud drink out there, so get some now.

Right I'm off to attach an old Nokia 3310 to Big Dave and see if he grows a soul.