Thursday, 2 May 2013

Dew you find this offensive?

Hey man,

I've got this great idea. It's a goat right and he's a gang member. People like gang member goats.

Love it.

He'll be talking smack to the lady who is picking the person out of the lineup and it'll be really funny because he's a goat right so how could someone mistake a goat for a person right.


What could possibly go wrong

Friday, 29 June 2012

Tic Tac Duo de Fraises

We think we got ourselves a little UK exclusive on this. French Tic-Tac flavour that should be coming to the UK soon. What? You heard. I got more contacts than specsavers homes. Don't doubt it

8080 0019 up in this bitch. Holla

Wow. This is crazy. I didn't even know there was 2 different types of Strawberry. This set me straight on a few things now I'm going to lay that down for you.

So there's 2 strawberrys right and this is where it's mad. Both of them are feeling like alone right and things aren't going as well for them as they had once dreamed. One of them is a career focussed 30 something who is madly in love with her boss right and the other one who I think is Cameron Diaz is like more of a party girl but deep down she's lonely and stuff and there's shoes and...ohh no that's the move In Her Shoes again. I keep doing that at the minute.

So there's 2 strawberrys right, pfft yeah we all knew that man right and I always go down to tescos and when they say stawberrys half-price I say yeah but which type? The pink ones or the lighter pink ones, and TicTac decided man I don't want people to have to chose which strawberry they like the most lets just bung them both into a little box. That's part of the reason the Euro Zone is so fucked is thinking like that btw but in this case they've hit upon something pretty good.

Individually they taste nice, one is a bit sharper than the other but together there is a proper depth of flavour. I really liked these, a lot and I'm worried because previously I thought that Tic Tacs were the product for effeminate europeans. This must mean that I'm slowly evolving into one of Owen Wilsons most well known characters...David Guetta. Shit man. That's a hard pill to swallow or it would be if it didn't taste of 2 different type of stawberry.



Mike and Ike Cotton Candy

DING DING. Time to get my fairground on. Roll up Roll up you marks and come and see if you can remove my coconuts.

Cotton Candy in a bag. This is what the 21st Century was meant to be. Here's the thing they decided that they would just slap 3 different flavours into this bag and hey it's a pretty nice, though very BRIGHT, bag. Check it out.

It smells incredible. Sugar rush up your nose type deal.

The flavours are good. Cherry was the standout for me and it smacks bang of the same flavour as the jelly beans, the lemon and lime are the support act really I think. All of them do pack a punch though and if you can power through the sugar wall you will probably hit about 2/3 of the way through the bag you'll be doing well.

In terms of nutritional values well listen you're not getting anything good right but you're not getting anything that's too bad for you. Zero fat and calorie wise this bag, which is a lot of eating, clocks in at 300 calories which is about the same as some small chocolate bars.

The only downside is this bit. May contain the 3 flavours? That's some bullshit if you have 3 flavours on the package you should have the 3 flavours in the bag. What's the manufacturing issue with that? You just lost yourselves a mark boys.

All in all though this is a pretty awesome product. It's insanely sweet so hits any sweet tooth cravings you might have but isn't horrendous in terms of calories or fat etc. All in all yeah I think you need to get yourself some.

Following people supply

Stateside Candy Co were the people who fufilled our order previously but seem currently out of stock.

Saturday, 26 May 2012

KX Tropical


We back on the energy drink train.

Remember we have reviewed KX before and it was a bit samey. It feels like Tesco were trying to get an inhouse energy drink with a bit of brand appeal rather than creating a drink that deserves some brand appeal.

They've launched some new flavours and we're testing some of them out. First up is the tropical

It's a lovely looking can. You got to give them that. Aesthetically I think they are scoring very high.

Flavour wise. It's interesting but not immediately identifiable. There's general tropicalness going on in my mouth but whether it's mango or mango and a hint of passion fruit I don't know. I think that's the general area they are going for. It's alright and it's cheap.

As a lower price end drink it's pretty alright and you could do a lot worse.

What they should have done

Just energized Um Bongo. I would be all over that.

Rowntrees Fruit Bottles

When I was a young man in short trousers I would often bother my parents for sweets. GIVE ME SWEETS GIVE ME SWEETS. Being of large cartoonish features and massive face I found it quite easy to manipulate them into buying me said sweets. Rowntrees know all about that sort of shit man, they master in it. What they want to do know is start to play the parents from another angle. We know that you know that we know that they kids want sweets but we know that you want like healthy sweets right and we know that you know that the kids won't know that these sweets are good for them.

That's the sort of stuff they are on now. They want to trick parents into thinking that these sweets are not only really good for you but because they are you are back in charge.


They're not really good enough to trick children.

They also really upset me. Cola bottles, cherry cola bottles and bubblegum bottles are in terms of sweets pretty much perfect. That takes that idea and says hey lets do other flavours. Orangeade maybe, cherryade, raspberryade and the like right? That should be amazing. They aren't really. The strength of flavour doesn't come through the gelatin for me and they all kind of tasted the same. I think it's meant to be an answer to natural confectionery company but in an individual bag, it just kind of falls flat.

Hey little jonny do you want those fruit bottles again.

Jelly Tots bitch.

I mean Rowntree's you already got Jelly Tots. Don't be greedy son.

Banana Soft Drink - McDaids


Yes you may have noticed we just came back from a bit of a break there without so much as a hello or whatever. We are the deadbeat dads of the blog world. We would apologies but you wouldn't believe it and we probably wouldn't mean it so how about we just buy you a my little pony and a ice cream and you can just get yourself knocked up to get back at us? Deal? Ok

Right so part of the reason we went away was I had a big St Paddys day thing planned. I had tracked down the famous football special and would be dancing down the streets when I finally got it. Epic right. Well sadly not due to a mix up with the order I somehow ended up not with a mix box of 3 of their fantastic flavours but instead a single box of the 1 flavour I was a bit terrified of. Banana.

I wont lie to you, I could have cried when it showed up. I was really down in the dumps about the whole thing and so it came as a bit of a surprise when the packaging managed to raise a little wry smile from me.

That's an awful picture. I thought it was blurry because of the tears in my eyes but instead it was because I'm a moron. It's a little blurb sort of suggesting that they have a banana plantation in Donegal Ireland. It's the kind of whimsical stuff that I'm a bit of a sucker for so I decided I would try this out.

Look at it. That's a quality product and a quality Irish product as well so that's lovely stuff all round. I wasn't expecting much from it. Banana is something you would more often found in dairy based drinks like smoothies or milshakes than in a soft drink and you think to yourself  there kind of has to be a reason for that right?

Maybe. The thing is though this is more like foam banana sweets than the actual fruit. In a fantastic way. It evokes the same sort of memories of childhood that something like the Rhubarb and Custard from Marks and Spencers did.

It's really sweet and it tastes artificial but it's kind of charming.

 Here's another point it's really quite drinkable as well. It's not just for quirk or shock factor, there's something really fundamentally right about this drink.

This is normally the point in which we would give it a score or a picture of seal but no not this time. We feel this is such a strange little oddity of a drink that we would like your opinions on it. Also we really want to buy your affection but we have no money. We have a few bottles left in Fizzness towers and we're willing to send them out to some UK blog followers here to get your impression of them and maybe even see if you can come up with a good cocktail?

Drop us a line on our twitter or facebook and we'll get details off you. First come first served!

Local Alternatives - Nestle Flipz

You remember Flipz right? Of course you do everybody does. They were one of those things that people now get hazy eyed about. I think we all kind of got into them when they were first released then got over them a little. What's been left is that nostalgia vacuum with the desire for them to return to the UK building and them becoming an increasingly popular sight in import stores.

Look at them in their lovely blue glory well if you're craving them and don't want to have to import yourself or go via a specialist store I've got a suggestion for you. A local supermarket has their own label chocolate covered pretzel. That's right buddy. Check these out. POW POW

So these come in quite a dark chocolate so if you're craving white chocolate ones you're either going to keep importing or start asking Mark and his brother Spencer to sort you out right and they are decent lads and a cracking badminton team so they might do that for you.

The most important thing to tell you is they are salted and yes that's important. Not just because salting caramel and chocolate is very in right now but because it's giving you that real strong packing flavour you deserve. Salt and Sweet as they always say in Man vs Food is what you crave. You crave these. If you have ever missed Flipz you owe it to yourself to go and try these out. If you are intrigued by this salted chocolate thing that's going a bit mad at the minute these might be your gateway into that. Excellent product and a cost savvy alternative to importing.

Alright hands up who wants one?

Even Key ring Lucky Cat is on this guys. You better get to stepping before he gets to stepping